“Everything has a purpose, even this, and it is up to you to find it”
–from the film “Peaceful Warrior”
“There are neither good nor bad qualities in the Self. The Self is free from all quality. If there is unity there is also duality. The numeral one also gives rise to other numbers. The truth is neither one nor two. It is as it is.”
-Sri Ramana Maharshi
Every moment is a chance to awaken.
Every moment?
What is awakening?
Awakening is often referring the spiritual path of the Buddha (or Awakened One). For the Buddha, when he awoke, he is believed to have realized complete awakening and insight into the nature and cause of human suffering which was ignorance, along with steps necessary to eliminate it.
If every moment is a chance to awaken, then every moment is a moment to realize the nature of human suffering. I believe in order to have this moment of awakening we have to experience human suffering in order to realize its nature.
Currently, I am involved in Summer school, where I am taking two classes: Chemistry 111 and Education 201. The Chemistry class meets 4 days a week and an additional 3 times for the laboratory work (a total of 5 hours of Chemistry a day). The Education class meets twice a week for c. 4 hours. Therefore, on Tuesday s and Thursday s I am in class for a total of 9 hours a day, not including homework time.
Now that you have the set up, I discovered a week ago I failed the midterm (60%). I was disappointed. I thought, “I might fail this course.” And if I fail the course…
1) don’t graduate from college in the Summer
2) I have to take classes during the Fall semester
3) Will not have a job
4) I will not have worked during the summer to pay for Fall living expenses
5) Logically, I would have to retake Chemistry 111.
6) I am sure there are other things…
When I discovered the pressure I had put on myself to finish this course, I realized in order to pass I need a Chemistry tutor. I was able to have two Chemistry tutors. I began to study for longer periods of time, and I was continuing to make low grades on the quizzes (a moment to see if I know what I think I know, and to pull up my grade). I began to get more frustrated.
I then realized how I am failing this course. I am not remembering and processing the nuances of the class material. By forgetting, not knowing, or merely getting confused with the quiz material I am making the same mistake over and over, and making a low grade on the quiz.
So I learned something about myself. I learned I don’t make or remember small differences in mathematical data, computation and theory.
What do I do? I can’t change how I process information. However, I know I process the data of Chemistry to a level which is not aiding me in passing the class....I discovered how I am creating my suffering. I have come to realize my ignorance, and so… how do I eliminate it?
I realized my list of six things that would happen if I failed this class, (1) I don’t know for certain they would happen, (2) I can simply decide nothing on that list is bad.
As Sri Ramana Maharshi said, “There are neither good nor bad qualities in the Self”. Being that my Self is all aspects of my life, passing or failing Chemistry is neither good nor bad.
* * *
The farmer had a horse and the horse ran away, and the neighbor said, “Oh, isn’t that too bad.”
The farmer said, “You never know.”
The next day, the horse came back followed by a beautiful wild stallion. The neighbor said, “How fortunate.”
The farmer said, “You never know.”
A short while after the son of the farmer was riding the wild horse, fell and broke his leg. The neighbor said, “Isn’t that terrible.”
The farmer said, “You never know.”
Short there after the government was coming through conscripting the young men for service, and because the boy had a broken leg he was left behind. The neighbor said, “How fortunate.”
And the farmer said, “You never know.”
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